The Race To Get Pregnant

Doesn't it feel like a race sometimes? I recall when I ran a women's infertility support group, most people sheepishly admitted they felt like they were competing with others when it came to who could get pregnant first. Your self esteem takes a beating when you can't get your body to "perform" and it seems like slap in the face when others get pregnant before you. One member said, "I definitely want to get pregnant before my sister who is getting married next month" as if she was going to be humiliated if she couldn't "outperform" her.

Well...I have one thing to say...take yourself out of the race...it only adds stress to an already overly-stressed situation - and stress will only get in your way of getting pregnant.

So how do you get yourself out of the "race" mindset?

1. Remember, babies come on their own schedule...not out of your need to feel like you're getting ahead of others.

2. Just because someone had a baby before you - it doesn't mean they're better or more worthy...they're just on a different schedule.

3. Now that I have my daughter, I'm glad I had her when I did...if I had her when we first started trying to get pregnant, she'd be well into the higher grades of elementary school by now. I'm enjoying every minute. Most people my age are going through the trauma of watching their kids move away from home or going to college...I have many years of fun ahead of me.

5. The way I see it, for every week, month, and year I waited for my daughter to come into my life, that's how much more I enjoy being with her. I don't think I could have ever appreciated what a miracle the whole process of pregnancy and childbirth is if I had gotten pregnant on my first try (or if I had a baby in my 20's).

6. It seems like whenever I've been envious or jealous of someone else, I later find out that they've struggled as much or more than me it some part of their life. What appeared to be a charmed life wasn't so perfect afterall. Maybe they had an easier time getting pregnant, but there are many phases of life and many twists and turns along the way.